I can feel it

I'm swimming in the pool we used to have in Cape May. It's late in the day, so the pool is shaded by the house. I feel so vivid and blue and I can feel the water seep into me and I'm swimming swiftly with precision.

Later, I'm in a little four roomed house that is Frank's around the corner from my Nonna's home. He's having a party there and it must be really late now, it's so late, the sun is coming up and it's almost morning and there's a cool white light illuminating everything. There are people sitting on the floor of this little house laughing and drunk and all over are glasses and vessels filled with liquids of different colors and consistencies. His friend Joey is there.

I leave and I find Shane Farrell in the empty streets. He's in Cape May with his family and wants to meet up with me. He's hitting on me but I'm not responding. He keeps asking me questions as we walk down the middle of the quiet road and sleepy houses.

car accidents

I'm sleeping on the floor of Celia Zizzi and Erica Dreher's apartment floor in Olde City. Her cats, Penelope and Dexter are sitting on my belly talking to me.

It's raining and getting colder. I'm driving or walking down City Line Avenue, I can hear cars with their bright headlights whiz past me, rain kicking up into the grey. My twin brother, Evan was in a car accident and his funeral is being held up the street in the house I grew up in. Shane Farrell is there and he's supposed to be my date. I keep thinking how weird it's going to be if someone asks if I have any siblings. All my life I was used to saying "Yeah, I'm a twin, He's the total opposite of me though." Now what?

Me and other kids who were going to Evan's funeral walked down City Line Avenue towards Alex Willis' house to go see him.