March 24th- my Nonno would have been 81 years old.

I'm in North Cape May with my family, other people's families too. But I go to the beach by myself with a man a little older than I am in the middle of the night. He takes me through the dunes and to the water. The beach is fully lit by the moon and I see that the tide is disoriented and the sand has shifted. There are hundreds of people standing sitting laying on this island in the middle of the bay.

I'm there with the Broscoe Family. In someone elses house, they are wealthy and had 4 children. The oldest male died. Now there is only 3. 2 boys and a girl. I think they're younger than I am, but find the youngest is in high school and the oldest male was out of college and married. They had all these little kid cups and plates and toys, only with 3, they threw away the 4th. They have a dog.

I'm driving through the Pine Barrens in the day. I'm with a man again, a different man. Maybe Jeff Hall. We're driving towards a house and we have to drive through. But there's an explosion behind us so we have to floor it. I think we burned, but the dream keeps going on.

I think about my Nonno in the basement and shower of our beach house.

Work and Prison are the same thing.

I was in a prison, which was associated with Whole Foods. Mostly prisoners worked at the Whole Foods, though everyone once in a while people who weren't could get hired there. I remembered walking up the ramp out of the parking lot and back to my apartment. I still lived there, but all my free time had to be spent at this prison, whole foods, school. I thought about why I was in prison- it had been because I had known someone who killed someone. I wanted them to re-open my case to show how injust the situation was.

I was standing in a basement with a lot of people, including the cop. I was explaining to him my situation, how a police officer must have sent mt to jail unjustly and I was trying to get my case re-opened. He told me police officers are always right. I told him that sometimes, they're corrupted and send people to jail for possessing different drugs. Like a cop will arrest people for dealing cocaine but they only deal marijuana, which has different consequences. He sarcastically said good luck.

I was training a girl who had just been entered into the prison. She had blonde greasy hair, dark circles under her eyelids, she was a drug addict. Not that anyone belonged there, but I knew that I didn't.

Nostalgia of North Cape May and my family the way it used to be

Evan and I are walking down Bayshore Road in North Cape May, away from the Villas and towards Town, it's afternoon, the sun keeps coming out and hiding behind clouds. We get to this house, it's not our house, the owner isn't home, though we sort of have permission to go inside, our Nonna knows the person who owns it, but not well. We go into the basement where it's dark, we're talking. He's against a wall with a window and I'm on the sofa. The window is round and outside of it is a perfectly lit tree, the leaves blowing off into the wind. It's dramatic, there's a soft light around Evan's face and everything else is black. I take out my picture and photograph it. It's first too dark, I try to brighten it up but then the tree out the window looks overly saturated, with bright blues, reds and greens. I give up.

We have to leave the house, we scramble to get all our belongings together and we go out to the driveway, the wind picks up and the sun hides. Nonna is there telling us to get home. I forget my boots and go back to get them, whoever owns the house is coming home.


When we're back at my Nonna's house, it's later, the light is darker and we're eating dinner. We're all there Nonna, Nonno, Evan, me and Daddy. Nonno is eating, he takes a bite of food and begins to give me advice. He starts choking or having a heart attack. I can't tell which, no one else can either. He keeps taking and choking, pretending if nothing is wrong. My dad starts pounding on his heart. I take the chair he's in and flip it backwards so his feet are up and his back is to the ground. I start giving him CPR thinking he's having a heart attack, but he might be choking too.

(3307) You're haircut looks really bad, and I'm not just saying that because I'm mad at you.

There was an event for Rachel Stricoff in the living room at 125 Farwood. My mom was throwing it. My mom had gotten potted plants as party favors. I set two of them aside, a multicolored rose pot, and a multicolored wildflower pot. When the party was over, there were no pots left. Just purple lilies in the middle of the room. I was about to grab them when I realized they were on a mound of dirt in the middle of the room, it was my Nonno's grave, and the purple lilies were for him. I was upset I didn't get any flowers.

Mama was in the kitchen making heart shaped cakes for valentines day. She was taking the batter and pouring it into a heart shaped mold on the frying pan, like pancakes, but then they'd rise like cakes. She asked if I could frost them for her. I agreed and looked in the pantry closet for anything pink, red, and white. All we had were Halloween sprinkles.

The doorbell rings and Mama answers it. Chris, Monty and Eric were at the door for Evan. I began to get even more pissed off. "Why didn't you call me?", "Oh, we just figured because you had work at 6:30am at Whole Foods you wouldn't want to hang out, so we called Evan, we're going to the beach."

Well I wanted to go to the beach, true, if they went to the beach I wouldn't make it to work in the morning, but I was mad they didn't call me or try to work with my schedule. Mama started getting mad because I had told her I'd help her with the many valentines cakes she was making.


Chris, Monty and I were sitting in the advanced photo studio, me sitting next to Chris. His hair was shorter, buzzed. "You're haircut looks really bad. And I'm not just saying that because I'm mad at you. It honestly looks bad" I told him, my arms crossed.